Forever in the Underworld, chapter IV

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This is the first night in a long time that I lay my eyes upon my lover. I have heard him several nights in a row, calling my name and wandering restlessly through the deep forest. My instincts tell me that I should approach him cautiously. Let him see just a hint of me before retreating again. Make him desire and follow me. Cultivate his lust like a farmer grows his crops. Play his own feelings against him until he can think of nothing but me. I curse my flesh and try to organize my own feelings. My body yearns for his caresses, and I find it hard to resist. How can I know if he really loves me. And how do I know if it is him I love? —– After it became known that I had abandoned all thought of ever returning to my own people, some of the trolls actually treated me more kindly. There was still much of the harassment, but I began to feel that the coming physical change would have positive sides. Skuld was pleasant as always, but I could also sense that she looked at me with genuine affection and appreciation for leaving my old life behind for her. In troll society, as it was when humans still practiced it, magic was considered feminine, something uncontrollable and dangerous, just as the female spirit. There were no sorcerers, only sorceresses, Ankara escort two headed axes, respected and feared. As a female, Skuld had some knowledge of the magics of her people. She understood what was necessary and did all the arrangements for my upcoming change. The magical secrets were kept by a few of the oldest troll hags, but all girls and women had to some degree been familiarized with the basics. Everything depended upon different herbs and ingredients meant to stimulate the forces dwelling in all things. She filled me in on what I needed to know and nothing more. I would be given a potion to prepare my soul for the dying of my body and release unto a new vessel. As a stroke of irony, there was only one person who knew how to make such a drink. She was Burr’s own mother, but Skuld assured me that everyone who was allowed intimate knowledge of troll magic held their secrets and integrity higher than anything else. To misuse the magic would mean to rebel against the forces of nature themselves. I had a hard time trusting her words. I was going to die, and was more than uneasy at leaving it in Burr’s influence. Finally, the night came, and Skuld led me from our home and down a series of corridors. I could Ankara escort bayan see other trolls moving in the same direction through every intersection and crossing. There weren’t many big occasions in my new society. Clearly, this was something everybody wanted to witness. The air slowly became colder and less damp, and I realized that we were on our way outside. My heart rejoiced as we stepped through a large opening in the rock. Finally, after so many weeks I was allowed to breathe fresh air once more. A pang of remorse came over me as I remembered that I was soon to become a troll. Breathing fresh air didn’t matter anymore. My life on the surface was over. All the dwellers of the underground kingdom were standing before us, circling a small lake bordered by moss and peat. The blue-white moon was sending its cold beams towards us, covering everybody in a sheen that reminded me of the soft cover of newly fallen snow. The black chasm of water before me currently acted as a stage for the elves, gliding effortlessly across the surface in a twirling, smoke-like dance, whispering barely audible, incoherent words to each other. An old crone moved towards us and offered me a golden cup filled to the brim with Escort Ankara a dark brown, smoking brew. I could smell the characteristic scent of wild garlic and pine bark through a mixture of various herbs and minerals. I had dreaded this moment ever since I decided to join Skuld’s people, and with tears in my eyes I emptied the cup, making sure to catch every last drop. She watched me with her crystal clear, blue eyes, filled to the brim with water. My own eyes were like rivers, sending torrents of tears down into the dark pond. Determined to get this over with, I followed my fiancée’s instructions and leapt heedlessly into the dark water. Silvery bubbles rose to the surface as I emptied my lungs and felt my body slowly begin to sink into the blackness. The last thing I saw was Skuld’s white dress sparkling in the moonlight as she slowly faded from view, replaced by sheer darkness and panic. I tried to release the pressure to my nose and sinuses, but nothing could be done about my emptied lungs. As my body began to scream for air, I panicked and felt my heart beating rapidly. I knew this was part of the change, but fear overwhelmed me and seized control. The lack of oxygen affected my mind and thoughts, and I began to wave my arms and try swimming upwards. I had to reach the surface. This was the only thought in my head as I tried to ascend, but everything remained black, and I knew it was too late. Screaming with the last few bubbles of air left in me, I lost consciousness. The next moment I remember was just like the previous.

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